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Key Topics
Requirement
Does good Parenthood require LOVE or DNA?
Is parentage all about bearing and giving birth to a child or is it about bearing witness to its life?
Does adoption, always benefit the participants of the adoption triad?
Is adoption the only choice for orphan children and childless parents?
Solution
These have been the all-time favorite questions reoccurring in the minds of both the adopters and the adoptees. And, the society, advancing in myriads of spheres, needs to have a candid approach in this context because adoption not only has a perpetual impact on the life of the parents who want a child but also includes child’s best interests. Adoption can either have a problem solving approach for all the participants of the adoption triad or it may also lead to rejection and abandonment fears among the young adoptees and relationship difficulties among the adopters. (Brodzinsky, 1993)
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When one chooses to adopt, it provides a child with a new home, family and parents. Constant practices are evolved to improve the circumstances of the adoptees and endless efforts are made to provide them with new found opportunities. Moreover, an adoptee visualizes a productive potential in an adoption process because children of single parents get a two-parent home and maybe even siblings and thus aiding their social and emotional development. Although there are a number of benefits of this humane process, still its stumbling blocks outweigh its momentousness in society. Studies have unveiled that adoptees are highly prone to mental and behavioral disorders. (Joyce, 2013) They tend to become emotionally vulnerable as they consider that they have no involvement in the choice of the adoptive family and in the decision of adoption. Children seeks adoption because in some way or the other they experience emotional turmoil and instability as one or both of their parents are involved in substance abuse or are physically abusive. If the adopters are of good family, then there are possibilities of finding a peaceful ambience. (Seifert, 2015) But what if they face the same problems again due to ignorant behavior of the adopters or as an outcome of certain hasty decisions of the new parents? Adopted children have a tendency to develop a feeling of insecurity without further ado as they are kept on being questioned about their birth parents and other existing blood relations. These two sided arguments have a lead adoption process in a state of perplexity. (GROSS, 2007)
Jamie Lee Curtis, once quoted, “We look adoption as a very sacred exchange. It was not done lightly on either side”. These lines reveal the purity of adoption where each one of the adoption triad sacrifices something or the other to lead a tranquil life. The adoptees that generally come from economically weak families get a stable family through adoption where all their needs are taken care of. A study revealed that the adopted children tend to perform better in their academics when compared to their non-adopted siblings, which shows that adopters take exceptional interests in their adoptee’s education and career. Simultaneously on the other hand, a statistical report on the effects of adoption has revealed that this promising human experiment has also faced a lot of failures in a course of time and the major victims are the ones for whom this salient idea was fabricated i.e. the adoptees. (D, 1998) An article entitled “Impact of Adoption on Adopted persons” discloses that every adoptee, at some point in his life, faces a period of grief and dismal over the loss of his first family and often faces rejection in the society. Similarly, David Brodzinsky in his book entitled as “Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self”, has precisely mentioned a point that at the adolescence stage adoptees generally faces a problem of identity crisis and the case become worse when the adoption is either closed domestic or international where there are numerous unanswered questions about his background and parents. The mentioned types of adoption generally pave an incertitude way where the adoptee finds himself struggling between his original and adaptive ways of life. (Morrison∗, 2004) Edin Lipinski, in a comprehensive way, said that: “In an existential sense, the past is as important to adopted people as their future. It is the present that is most troublesome. Not knowing where they fit into the spectrum of happenings is a great problem for them”. The adoptees begin to feel lonely and isolating as their upbringing rarely match to those they are living with. Some shocking statistical data have also revealed that around 60-80% of the teen adoptees more likely choose an alternate way of lifestyles which forces the adopters to send them to disciplinary schools or they are simply locked out in the worst case. (Berry, 1993)
The two-sided nature of this debatable topic has led to a conclusion that adoption cannot be judged considering one or two dimensions. The perspectives of each of the participants of the adoption triad hold an equal importance and have to be scrutinized at the time of adoption. “Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously.” – Alfie Kohn. Hence, the adoptee, for which this plan has been designed, should have an equal say prior and after the process of adoption. (Queensland Government, 2009) If the adoption has been taken as an option, then the adopters should struggle to cater each and every need of their child and mold him in the best possible way. The questions to be asked here is: Does your adoptee merely need your presents or presence? Or do you only need to have any kind of DNA similarity with your kids to be a good parent? To decipher the mystery of how adoption could be successful one needs to ask these simple questions to them. After all, there are no unwanted children, but just few un-found families. (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2013)
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Berry, M. (1993). Risks and Benefits of Open Adoption. University of Texas at Arlington., School of Social Work. Retrieved from http://www.futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/03_01_09.PDF
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Brodzinsky, D. M. (1993). Long-term Outcomes in Adoption. University,New Brunswick. Retrieved from http://www.futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/03_01_12.PDF
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D, G. (1998). Statistics on the Effects of Adoption. (George Fox University) Retrieved from http://www.adoptionhealing.com: http://www.adoptionhealing.com/ginni.html
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GROSS, J. (2007, January 13). A Taste of U.S. Family Life, but Adoption in Limbo. A Taste of U.S. Family Life, but Adoption in Limbo. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/13/us/13orphan.html?_r=0
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Joyce, K. (2013, May/June). Orphan Fever: The Evangelical Movement's Adoption Obsession. Orphan Fever. Retrieved from http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/04/christian-evangelical-adoption-liberia
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Morrison∗, A. (2004). Transracial Adoption: The Pros and Cons and the Parents’ Perspective. Harvard BlackLetter Law Journal, 164-172. Retrieved from http://www.law.harvard.edu/students/orgs/blj/vol20/morrison.pdf
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Queensland Government. (2009). Adoption. (Department of Communities, Child Safety and Disability Services) Retrieved from https://www.communities.qld.gov.au: https://www.communities.qld.gov.au/childsafety/adoption
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Seifert, C. (2015). The Effects of Adoption on Kids. Adoption on Kids. Retrieved from http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/effects-adoption-kids-2166.html
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U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2013). Impact of Adoption on Birth Parents. Youth and Families Children’s Bureau. Retrieved from https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/f_impact.pdf
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