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Key Topics
Requirement
At times, a communication will need to do more than present facts and information. Instead, it must influence the reader in some way.Select a document from work or a paper from previous coursework. You will need to include a copy of this document with your paper, so make sure that you are allowed to do so.Examine the paper for tone, use of metaphors, and techniques of persuasive style. Are there ways this could have been improved to make the document more effective?
Directions:
Write a paper with the results of your examination and your ideas for improvement.Be sure to include a copy of the document with your paper.
Your paper should be 3-5 pages in length, not including the title and reference pages.You must include a minimum of two (2) credible sources, not including the text, and use proper citation. Use the Saudi Electronic Library to find your resources.Your paper must follow Saudi Electronic University academic writing standards and APA style guidelines, as appropriate.You are strongly encouraged to submit all assignments to the Turnitin Originality Check prior to submitting them to your instructor for grading. If you are unsure how to submit an assignment to the Originality check tool, review the Turnitin Originality Check Student Guide.
Solution
Introduction
This paper will do an analysis of a previously completed work. The previously completed work is a report about an Incident in a company premise. The report outlines the possible causes and the actions that rectified the issue. From the very start report talks about the main point of incident that was caused by the storage issues leading to a number of complaints files within a day. However, there is a lack of flow in the summary section of the paper. It doesn’t provide information whether, it was the human resource or the storage space that created the issue. Further sections of this paper will evaluate the paper on persuasive writing parameters.
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Evaluation of the Paper for Persuasive Writing Skills
The first good thing about certain part of the paper is the use of formal language that implies that the writer has a knowledge about the issue. For example, “If the appreciable services are provided to the client base then the earlier mentioned objectives can be achieved and also it will help in improving the revenue through more business.”. This shows that the author has pointed out clearly that a superior customer service will lead to higher revenue generation. Furthermore, the incident details section also provide information about the incident in technical terms. It specifically points out that the cause of incident was due to lack of storage data. Paper has utilized the concept of Generalization ("English with Dr. T.", 2016) in a few places. For example, “Conducting tasks as per the plan and with effectiveness is imperative for the success of any organization.” This statement represents the general idea behind success of any organization. Hence, the statement makes incident report persuasive in terms of generalization.
On the other hand, the section lacks the flow of information and sentences are not fitting together. For example, it starts talking about the cause of incident in the first sentence, but missed out repeating the cause in the rest of the section. By repetition of letters, words or phrases, an author can ensure that audience are aware of the argument. Reinforcement of argument makes it easier for the audience to relate to the context of the paper. Hence, it would have been a better presentation to end the incident details section using a closing sentence, such as, “The cause of the data storage crisis incident can be attributed to lack of awareness and casual approach. An appropriate system can rule out this problem for the business.” The statement repeats the problem and provide a hint to a proposed solution that can come into picture later.
The paper starts with the summary and prose lines about the company incident. There could have been a better start with a metaphor. For example, A new age is upon us: the age of data”("Data Is Power", 2011) shows how important data is for the modern era. What can be the potential problems that can arise if we don’t have data security. A metaphor builds the audience interest ("The Necessary Art of Persuasion", 1998) from the very beginning and gives a head start about the writing. Persuasive writing requires a good use of metaphors and analogies to keep the audience involved. The Technical details/Fix issue and Conclusion section of the incident report talks about the technicalities of the issue and effective use of cloud storage services. It is well written section that provide details about the research and analysis conducted by the various firms about data and cloud data storage. Soon after providing the information about the utility of different technical tools, the author jumps to the issue and provide a solution. However, there is a missing element that specifically tells about the fix. The author of the paper says “After adopting such measures, the outage has been resolved.”. The sentence doesn’t tell that what part of technology was utilized to resolve the issue, hence lacks the cause and effect element of a persuasive writing. The potential improvement is to repeat the issue again, but with the proposed solution. There should be an explanation to it. The conclusion section is well presented and it uses the basic parameter of argument repetition. It is a good closing technique where the 0audience is aware of the reason for the entire paper. However, in the conclusion section there is some new piece of information present. It should not be there in the conclusion section. The better place to put the three step activity is under the technical issue and fixing section. The conclusion section doesn’t have a concluding line or paragraph about the issue or the paper, hence it is potential shortcoming in the paper.
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The tone of the paper is decisive and forthright. The paper starts with a fact that the storage data created the problem for the company and outlines some facts and generalizations about the issue. There is a scope of improvement in the paper. As the paper is about an issue, the author could have used the tone showing concerned. Furthermore, there is a lack of flow of information. As the paper could well been a story telling that starts from an incident and end with the fix covering the issues faced by the people working on the issue. It would have made the paper more interesting and appealing to the readers. Last but not the least, starting the paper with a metaphor leaves a great impact on the readers. However, there is no such instance where metaphor is employed about the data or customer privacy or data sensitivity. There are good points about the paper in terms of formal presentation, use of datas and facts to support an argument. Overall, the paper needs improvement as there are important elements missing from the paper.
References
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Data Is Power. (2011). Popular Science. Retrieved 17 April 2016, from http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2011-10/data-power
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English with Dr. T.. (2016). Dmturner.org. Retrieved 17 April 2016, from http://www.dmturner.org/English/Writing/persuasion.htm
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The Necessary Art of Persuasion. (1998). Harvard Business Review. Retrieved 17 April 2016, from https://hbr.org/1998/05/the-necessary-art-of-persuasion
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